The Issue With ‘Binary’

“Wait, this isn’t your field!” Blast-Off protested, going wide-opticked in alarm when he noticed Vortex wearing a scaled up black trench coat and sunglasses. “This is ‘SOOO’ in my field! We’re talking about binary genders, not that IT crap!” Vortex explained. “Then why the Neo get-up?” Blast-Off demanded. “Oh, because we’ve never had an excuse to use it before! NOW THEN!!!” Vortex proceeded as he threw aside the costume onto a passing Getaway, causing him to stumble and crash into a utility shelf. “Someone’s gender, does it bother you?” Vortex tested. “We’ve discussed this before; no!” Blast-Off rebuked. “Good! Guess it should be a given, since our base is crawling with non-male characters…” Vortex figured. “Who dun fcked up this time?” Blast-Off demanded, getting to the point. “Oh, the usual: a school in a country where the thing they’re trying to do is completely illegal!” Vortex elaborated as his wingman furrowed his brow in confusion. “It’s illegal? Then why take that risk?” He demanded. “You’re doing a lot of that, this episode. Anyway! I don’t know why they’re risking it, they don’t gain anything from it…” Vortex admitted with a shrug. “Think if we got a bonehead to run a school, they’d make the same mistake?” Blast-Off pondered as he and Vortex exchanged curious glances.
<a few hours later>
“Welcome to Combat-Ed-Con! Terrible pun, I know! I am your teacher today: my name is Combaticon Brawl, though you may call me Sir or Brawl. Any questions before we begin?” Brawl asked as he instructed a class of borrowed Destroyer Kanmasu from Starboard Town, Vortex and Blast-Off observing from the sidelines as one of the girls raised their hand. “Yes, Fubuki?” Brawl acknowledged. “Why did you have to open an entire new school instead of using the one back in town and enlisting there as a substitute?” She asked. “Good question! I’m afraid I don’t know. I was just told to do this for an experiment that, for some reason, isn’t being operated by R&D.” Brawl answered. “So…what are we learning today?” Shirayuki inquired. “Another good question. According to the itinerary: we’re questioning why anyone would bother enforcing gender identification rules and thus denying anyone their basic human rights? Uh…guys…” Brawl quacked. “Keep going! You’re doing great!” Vortex reassured as he and Blast-Off gave him synchronized double thumbs up. “Right…so…any further questions?” Brawl prompted. “Yes! Why are we having this conversation in 2020?” Hatsuyuki asked as she shot her hand up. “Frankly, my dear, I wish I gave a damn! Near as I can tell: as soon as COVID became a problem in the human world, they reset back to the Middle Ages after assuming they’d gotten a new Black Plague!” Brawl retorted. “GET BACK ON TOPIC!!!” Vortex yelled as he threw a text book at his partner, knocking him back on track. “WHAT I MEANT TO SAY WAS: because humans suck!” Brawl concluded. “Meh, close enough!” Blast-Off accepted as Vortex facepalmed. “Do we count as humans?” Miyuki checked. “Uh…yes and no! But that’s a topic for the next period! For now, please go to page 17 of your text books.” Brawl instructed as the destroyers did so, only for all of them to get simultaneously sprayed with tear gas and start wailing in panic. “Oh…guess I should’a specified NOT to open the ones Vortex wrote!” Brawl gulped before being given a notice of termination. “What the…YOU ASSHOLES DIDN’T EVEN PAY ME!!!” He accused before getting kicked off set. “So this proved what? That even Brawl can run a school without needlessly profiling anyone even in the worst case scenario?” Vortex groaned as the tear gas started spreading and the destroyers continued wailing. “Well, I suppose. I mostly wanted to see what would happen…” Blast-Off admitted. “Why don’t we justify this by saying if a fictional bumbling moron can run a class room with more than standard the efficacy of a real humanin your school, then you need to try again!” Vortex decided, glaring at the camera. “Uh…this is still being written by an unemployed 19 year old, you realize that, right?” Blast-Off whispered. “Yeah, so?” Vortex challenged as his wingman furrowed his brow in confusion before shrugging. “MY EYES!!! IT’S IN MY EYES!!! UWAWAAAH!!!” Fubuki wailed as she ran around the room with her eyes watering. “Maybe we should clean up the mess to close this out.” Blast-Off figured as he and Vortex pulled up handheld fans and started blowing away the clouds of tear gas.