The issue with police brutality

“VANDALS!!! SWINE!!! GET BACK HERE!!!” Sideswipe roared as he chased after DesDiv6, who’d sprayed a phallus on his vehicle mode hood with lime spray paint. “HELP!!! POLICE!!! I’VE BEEN ROBBED!!!” Macaddam wailed, The Constructicons (sans Longhaul) making off with his entire establishment after having removed it from the foundation. “Last I checked, I didn’t house kleptomaniacs.” Swindle admitted as a coffee was nicked right from his hands by an evilly snickering Tracks. “Alright then…time to find out why the Bobbies haven’t come in to do anything about this!” Swindle figured afterwards before stomping to the Protectobot HQ, surprised to find a ‘gone fishing’ sign on the front door and Carameldansen playing from inside at full blast. “What the…” He began before throwing the door open to a five person DDR match. “DANCE TILL YOUR DEAD BOYS!!! PAPA NEEDS THAT HIGH SCORE!!!” Hotspot ordered, he and his entire squad dancing in sync with the game. “WHAT ARE YOU IDIOTS DOING!?! I DON’T TAKE YOUR RENT MONEY SO YOU CAN REFERENCE RESURRECTED MEMES!!!” Swindle exploded, the Protectobots still dancing. “Sorry, Swindle! This is a workplace strike! Not my idea, the chief’s!” First-Aid clarified. “HOTSPOT!!! EXPLAIN YOURSELF!!! MY PORT TOWN IS BEING LOOTED BECAUSE OF YOUR LALLYGAGGING!!!” Swindle roared, Hotspot just glaring at him while perfectly blind-syncing his moves with DDR.

“For the record! The reason we’re on strike is because of the crisis going on in America! As protectors of justice, we refuse to reinforce the stereotype of violent police officers or of them being the scapegoat for LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE!!! So as far as we’re concerned: this sounds like a You Problem!” Hotspot rebuked. “Good thing I’m not a cop!” Swindle remarked with a crunch of his knuckles before grabbing Hotspot in a headlock and flipping him to the ground, losing Hotspot the DDR match. “NOOO!!! MY HIGH SCORE!!!” Hotspot wailed before getting lifted up from the floor and thrown out the station. “Everyone else, AT LEAST LEARN FROM FIRST-AID AND DO YOUR JOB WITHOUT HURTING ANYONE UNLESS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY!!! AND BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY YOU DON’T WANT A TRUE PACIFIST FIELD MEDIC AS A TEMPLATE FOR ENFORCING THE LAW!!!” Swindle exploded as the rest of the Protectobots wailed in terror before equipping riot shields and charging out the door, Onslaught leaning against the outside when Swindle exited the building. “Enjoying the position of Team Dad yet? Manic fury is just one of the perks of the job, followed closely by bruta-OH SHIT!!!” He realized as Swindle armed his Scatter Blaster and fired on Onslaught, blasting him into one of the nearby buildings. “‘Brutalizing my team mates?’ NO SHIT SHERLOCK!!!” Swindle exploded before being tapped on the shoulder. “What is it, Twirly?” He demanded, only to get poked on the nose. “Why don’t you explain to the viewers at home what problem the Protectobots were trying to demonstrate against?” Vortex asked, Swindle twitching slightly. “You know why we’re the polar opposites to the Protectobots? Because we’re army vehicles! The Protectobots aren’t army vehicles, they’re emergency services! As soon as you start giving the real world cops MRAPs, (or Mine-Resistant Ambush Protected vehicle, for the civvy plebs out there), then you start to grey the lines keeping us different from each other! Case and point: Rook!” Swindle reminded. “You mean the Combiner Wars alternative to Groove until the fans wailed for the latter to get a full-size figure? Wasn’t his character dumped in favor of keeping the Scramble City Teams streamlined?” Vortex pondered. “Until now.” Swindle clarified as he quick-drew a scatter gun and halted one of the looters, who indeed was Rook.

“Heh heh! Heya guys! How’re ya? ‘Specially you Swindle! How’s my remold-pal?” Rook quacked, dropping the grand piano he was trying to make off with over a hapless Getaway. “I’m pissed off, THAT’S WHAT!!! Care to explain your vehicle mode?” Swindle prompted. “Sure! It is that of an armoured personnel carrier!” Rook declared with a proud smile, perking up in alarm afterwards when he realized the context of the question. “See the problem?” Swindle reminded. “Yeah I do. Kill him.” Vortex ordered. “WAIT WAIT WAIT!!! I CAN PROVE MYSELF AS A REFORMED BOT!!!” Rook pleaded before getting his head blown clean off by the scatter gun. “I know this doesn’t make us any better than the problem, BUT THAT’S WHAT KEEPS US DIFFERENT FROM THE PROTECTOBOTS!!!” Swindle exploded as the lifeless chassis dropped beside him. “Ok, then how WILL we address the problem?” Onslaught demanded as he stomped back over to the group. “Quite simply, turn an infamous case of brutality on its head! I.E. I’ve asked Longhaul to do a little dirty work for me!” Swindle revealed. “Already?” Vortex quacked. “Yeah! This whole situation is entirely different from the one in America!” Swindle pointed out. “Right…” Onslaught and Vortex hesitated as they gestured back to the looting. “HELP!!! POLICE!!! THIS TIME I’VE LITERALLY BEEN ROBBED!!!” Macaddam wailed as he was carried away by the Stunticons on a spit. “Again! NO CORRELATION!!!” Swindle clarified.

<meanwhile, in rural Montana / USA>

“Hello officer! I’d like to declare that I’m packing heat!” Longhaul growled as he crunched his knuckles, a lowly deputy poking his hat up to reveal a skeptical look. “You mean those ‘guns’ you have?” He groaned. “Nope! I’m a mother-fcking toy truck! And if I’m not a viable weapon, then I’m perfectly safe just doing a non-violent protest and demanding you explain the event that’s caused this altercation!” Longhaul declared, the officer perking up in alarm. “You got the wrong department, we don’t have brutality claims. If we do, it’s from members of a psycho cult! Otherwise, I cannot explain the event you describe! It’s unforgivable, what happened to that child. Though I want you to keep fighting the good fight, my truck friend.” The deputy wished as Longhaul sighed in relief. “Cool bro! Stay safe and don’t shoot non-violent protesters!” Longhaul wished back before realizing something. “That went smoother than I thought…” He commented. “That’s because most officers are dumber than others…” The deputy admitted ashamedly.